My husband turned 50 today…and that means I am quickly approaching the end of the 40’ish era myself. You hear it all your life, but it’s totally true – time flies. I was 20 just yesterday, with all my dreams and plans ahead.
At breakfast this morning, the birthday boy and I were reflecting over our years behind and those remaining ahead. It is a common 50th birthday thing to say it’s all downhill from here, meaning you’ve reached the peak and there is nowhere to go but down. Down in health, down in opportunities, down in time. Such is the way of life. Yet, there is another perspective, and may I say a far more positive view of the big 5-0.
Here we are. We have raised 4 amazing human beings that I can honestly say, I not only love, but I like. There is a difference. One can grudgingly do one’s duty to “family” because it is the right thing to do, and one can trudge through the difficult seasons of parenthood because it is the honorable path to take. Or, we can realize that our children are just like us…works in progress. They succeed and they fail; they need encouragement and discipline. What they need most is simply us.
I am blessed with the most loving, amazing, intelligent humans in the world to call my very own, and being their mom has been and continues to be an absolute pleasure.
Now, hear me, my kids are definitely not perfect people. Do we get on each other’s nerves? Every single day! Especially since we have been quarantined due to the pandemic raging around us and are totally stuck together at home for days, weeks, months…
Yet, my husband pointed out that the greatest birthday he could have wished for has been the time provided by this virus pandemic. It might sound crazy, but for us, there is a huge silver lining. Our kids have nowhere else to go but home and no one else to hang out with but us! I think they even see the silver lining (most days).
We get reflective on big birthdays, even if it’s not your own. Do I wish I had done some things differently? Do I wish my kids had done some things differently? All of us made some different decisions? A resounding yes would be the response. This girl would totally have borrowed money and bought Apple stock years ago and been a millionaire about now if I could go back and whisper in that young girl’s ear! Although let’s be realistic…she wouldn’t have listened. She knew everything.
Whether it is which wonder stock we would have invested in or what schooling choices we should have changed or what house we might have lived in, there is no end to the “what ifs” when one begins to ponder. But we must give ourselves some grace.
I mean seriously, what we know now as parents and business owners with half a century of experience and lessons learned and what we knew then as young kids trying to figure out life without a road map…it’s a huge gap in knowledge and wisdom. Everyone has this story; no one has it all figured out. That’s the truth.
So let’s not linger in mistakes and longings of yesterday. Regret steals from tomorrow. And as the calendar pointed out this morning, tomorrows are precious gifts that are quickly gone.
So yes 50 is downhill. I choose to let it be downhill in a much different way than the normal perception of that phrase. A roller coaster has hills, that’s what makes it a roller coaster. You could wish for a smooth ride with no ups and downs, no twists and turns, but let’s face it…that isn’t reality. Personally, it sounds a little boring. You wouldn’t realize the highs were so very high if you hadn’t just climbed out of a profoundly low drop. The very best roller coasters go up in such a way as to make the rider feel certain anticipation mixed with a healthy dose of fear.
To compare our analogy to life, my husband pointed out that the years from 25 to 50 have been climbing up to get our business healthy, clawing our way to the top raising kids in a world that isn’t always safe, and all the while feeling that fear mixed with anticipation of reaching the top and seeing what’s on the other side.
Now here we are; it is downhill from here. It is gloriously downhill. It’s time to raise our hands up in the air and enjoy the ride. You know the feeling. All the way up that hill, you find yourself wondering what possessed you to think this craziness would be fun…why take the risk? Then, oh then the other side is in view.
Then you remember the why. Why did we risk everything financially to start a business without a business degree or any idea what we were doing? Because there was a chance we would be here today with a healthy and thriving company that cares for the needs of not only our family but the families of our employees. That wasn’t just luck. That was hard work and lots of blessings. Did we have failings and fall down? Absolutely. But the failure is never in the falling; it is in giving up and not getting up again.
The risk was worth it. The hill was worth the climb. The years of caring for the kids and making a home? Big-time work and big-time risk. Worth it? You better believe it. Family is my lifetime achievement. They are my masterpiece.
I’ve made mistakes coming up this mountain of life, but I am content with where I am. I am content with who I am. Yes, the downhill part still means my health will deteriorate and my time will one day end. But while I have today, I’m gonna let go of my fear and throw my hands in the air. I’m gonna enjoy the ride, after all it’s all downhill from here.