If there was ever a year one has to search far and wide for the silver linings, it was definitely 2020. This has been a year of rain. This will be remembered as a year with storms of grand proportions. But the thing about storms is that after they are over and the sun comes back out, it is phenomenally refreshing and cleansing. The calm after the storm can bring perspective we might have missed otherwise. It brings clarity of that which is most important. It brings silver linings, and most importantly…hope.
And I have learned over the course of this, 2020…the most unprecedented year of my life, hope is essential to survival.
The year began with no hint at all that the world as we all knew it was about to change; in fact, change is a gentle way to describe the fact that our fast-paced world would indeed stop turning altogether. The rat race was about to reach an end, or at the very least a pause.
January was quiet and restful after the busy Christmas season of 2019. Our oldest son was busy beginning his career in the healthcare field as a physical therapist, an obviously hands-on profession. Never would anyone have begun to imagine this work becoming a virtual art. Why would we? Our recent college graduate started his first job excited by the prospect of learning the art of marketing under some amazing mentors. Law school began would begin in the fall and plans were made to find a nearby apartment since the commute from our country home to the big city would be difficult. Being in person at law school was not a question, it was never a question. It was an expectation, a certainty. I remember mourning just a bit that the graduation was rather subdued, being a mid-year ceremony. The spring celebration would be so grand…perhaps he should have waited. The new college freshman was beginning his second semester of engineering school and certainly happy about being on campus due to the tremendously heavy academic load. Labs and study groups and tutoring were all exceptionally necessary for the field. The youngest and only girl was finishing sophomore year and busy with the job she loved at a local bounce house. Not only could she work with children, but she was constantly on the move and boredom simply didn’t happen. It was a perfect first job. The employers had put everything they had into the venture, and it was paying off. The community loved the trampolines and climbing walls and fun. Nothing could stop them now.
Our family company was flying high, expanding and even hiring a new employee to add to our business. When we hire someone, it is a commitment. We do our best to care for them and their families as our very own. And they reciprocate. Together we are strong. There is no worry of people being temporary or not being able to keep them on. Work is stable. The nation is economically sound.
My parents are elderly, needing medical procedures and doctor visits fairly often. They love having the extended family over as often as we can be there. It is encouraging to know one is not alone, especially the elderly. Of course, we would always be coming for Sunday night dinner. My whole life, Sunday brought the family around the table for fellowship and laughter. We took that for granted. Of course we did.
February found us preparing for the trip of a lifetime to Italy! Tim and I were so excited to be headed off in celebration of my 48th birthday. Travel is a favorite pastime, and one I look forward to immensely. No matter where I go, there is always somewhere new to dream of exploring. There were so many amazing trips planned for the year; this was just the beginning…
February is a wonderful time to visit Italy. We stayed in a small town and drove a tiny car that made us laugh every time we crawled in with knees crammed into the dashboard. It was both hilarious and nerve-wracking to drive in this country. I’ll never forget worrying that we had mistakenly entered the ZTL…a traffic zone that targets those of us who can’t speak Italian and have no idea what the signs are saying until you receive the hefty ticket months later…I still get nervous going to the mailbox. Anyway, what was aggravating turned out to be a blessing in disguise as we had little public transportation to deal with during what would become the beginning of a global pandemic. But we had no idea any of this was going on, not really. There were murmurs on tv, but we really didn’t know the gravity of the situation. For the two of us, we were on a second honeymoon, visiting Venice without crowds, climbing the Leaning Tower of Pisa, and generally enjoying the quaint countryside of the region. The light crowds allowed the cheerful shopkeeper to have time to talk to us and show us the very spot President Obama had stood in this, his very own bookstore. I remember meeting the sweetest older gentlemen who tried to help us understand train schedules. They couldn’t speak English; we couldn’t speak Italian. But we could smile and share photos of our family and enjoy one another’s company. I have often thought of those fellows who kindly escorted us to where we needed to go by reading our tickets and pointing and translating as best they could. They were elderly. They were vulnerable to sickness. Did the virus ravage their community? Their homes?
We had only been in the Tuscany region a few short days when a news report caught my eye. Before leaving home, we had heard vague stories of a virus, but the media is always hyping something to get attention, so we thought little of it. But now the story was beginning to diverge from “just another story” to a frightening realization; we were in the epicenter of the virus hot spot. I scrolled through my social media to find friends sending messages to us asking if we were ok and if we were coming home soon. It didn’t take long to see that the world around us was changing quickly, and honestly we were not sure what to do. I mean, everyone in Italy was acting normally. We were in the countryside for the most part and there was zero panic. There were definitely signs of the odd situation. For example, the streets were fairly empty in Venice. The positive side is that we had the old city to ourselves. The water was clear and beautiful, the gondoliers excited to have customers. There were signs on stores saying they had no masks for sale, but not many were wearing them anyway and certainly no one was enforcing a mask policy. The only place we really saw more masks was at the train station where we rode public transportation a time or two. But we had not come prepared with masks. Why would we? From our perspective, it seemed like this thing exploded in a heartbeat. I began to feel a little panicky, not that we would get sick, but that we would get stuck here and unable to go home. Don’t get me wrong, it’s lovely in Italy, but it’s not home. And the more news I heard, the more I wanted to get home. The airlines promised we were not going to have our flight canceled, and no we could not get an earlier flight out. So we finished our trip, assured the family we were safe, and unbeknownst at the time…left out on one of the final flights allowed back to America from Italy for quite some time! When we arrived in the States, our temperatures were taken and we were asked if we had been to China (the origin of the virus). No mention was made of Italy, because it was literally the very beginning. With thankful hearts, we drove home where we promptly showered and washed all our clothes and lysol-ed our bags! I’m not a worry driven person, but it seemed prudent to take these steps. The only advice we were given was to watch ourselves for any symptoms of sickness. We were not told to quarantine, only to watch. And we did. Thankfully we were healthy and well. In fact, Tim usually has a bout of deep chest coughing every winter and didn’t this year. One of the reasons could be the nasacort nasal spray he used all year. For whatever reason, what a blessing. The doctor encouraged it, and we bought one for each of our kids and used it several times a week. You do what you can.
Less than a week after returning home, flights from Italy were suspended indefinitely! It was mind-boggling. Our fast-paced world was being forced to slow down. Watching the news and reading the stories about the poor people of Italy was heartbreaking. They lost so many. Most believed the losses were so catastrophic there because the population was much older than the norm. I’ll never think of Italy without a picture forming in my mind’s eye of those dear, elderly men all dressed up in their suits and hats heading out for a day’s adventure. I must admit I always imagined them gathering in a town square to play chess or checkers together amidst laughter and love shared by those who have spent a lifetime together as friends. I’ll never know if they survived the virus or not, but I think of them.
With February behind us, the beautiful month of March began. The warm weather was in and out; making promises it could not keep as winter winds occasionally dropped by to remind us it was not through with us just yet. Still, the weather was kind in our region of the world. The flowers began to bloom, and the days began to stretch out with more sunshine. We could use sunshine. The world was just beginning to try to understand what was happening and how to stop it. Governments made difficult decisions to close up businesses and ask people to stay home to slow the spread of the sickness. The very real fear was that the hospitals would be overwhelmed by a surge of those needing help. And in some places they were. In others, they were not. It was all very regional. Those of us blessed enough to live in the countryside were spared the worst of it as we don’t depend on public transportation or crowded living arrangements; however, the cities suffered. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to be trapped (we called it sheltering in place or quarantining) in a small apartment alone without loved ones, without a job, without hope. My son’s best friend had moved to France in January. It was an exciting new adventure for her that turned into a trying situation filled with loneliness and uncertainty. She was unable to fly home or go anywhere. She was literally not allowed outside without permission unless she needed food or exercise. Alone in a foreign country is a terrifying predicament for me, but this girl was a beautiful example of an overcomer. She read books, learned new crafts, cooked, cared for elderly neighbors, and became all the stronger for the difficult months. For myself, I was grateful to be home with my family. My oldest lived an hour away, and we didn’t get to see him very much. But honestly, we hadn’t spent a lot of time together since his marriage a few years back. It is a natural part of life, this growing and leaving; but that doesn’t make it easy. His siblings missed him. His grandparents were getting older and loved any little bits of time they got with him. As a physical therapist, his job became much more difficult with the beginning of social distancing, a phrase used to teach citizens to stay 6 feet apart and no physical contact. Will the children of this generation ever feel the same about hugs and touch? There are no answers.
At first, we were told that the shut-downs were temporary…flatten the curve we were urged…maybe a few weeks…months…
One by one, things began to close down. First, those who were sick were kept away from others, even their family, left to suffer alone. Then those who were well were told to stay at home, as if we could build a shield around ourselves and keep out the big bad wolf of sickness. Those, like my elderly mother, who needed doctor visits for unrelated health issues such as blood pressure were told to stay home…the hospitals and doctors were preparing for the onslaught of virus victims and the risk was too much to visit the hospitals and doctors. But no worries because it won’t be too long. Next, it was large venues like concerts and movie theaters. Money was lost, but it’s only temporary. Then churches and restaurants were urged to shut down for safety sake. Just a short time, and then things will be back to normal. Then nursing homes closed their doors to visitors to protect the vulnerable elderly, their physical health is primary. No one spoke of the terrible toll loneliness would take. Then schools began to close. Students could work from home…just a little while. Then families who didn’t live in the same household were told to stay away from one another, the elderly parents and lonely widows would be just fine, it’s in everyone’s best interests. The weeks turned into months. The months had an impact.
The impact is still being felt and I fear will be for generations to come. Truly, no one is a bad guy in this scenario. Most were doing their best to make the right decisions, to save lives. The hard truth is that we could not have known, no one could have…you make decisions, you move on. Except 2020 felt like it was stuck and unmoving, like this virus world is the new reality. It is hard.
Graduations and weddings and birthdays and deaths, most of all deaths, these life events were overlooked, canceled, and unattended. Those unrecoverable days are lost to a year that swallowed up the precious memories which should have been made, and we will never get them back. The sick suffered in hospitals alone while family tried to communicate through FaceTime. Even happy events like the birth of a baby were overshadowed by the virus. Loved ones could not come visit and encourage the new mom and smile at the new baby. Mom and baby were alone.
A good friend found out she had cancer at the beginning of the virus, and those of us who loved the family were tragically unable to help because of fear of bringing the virus to her household. They are alone. Those who lost loved ones were sometimes not even allowed to have a burial, and if they were, only a few brave souls who were more afraid of missing life than losing it would show up to comfort the grieving family. And even then that comfort was from 6 feet apart. No human touch to alleviate the pain and sadness and heartbreak. Medical personnel became exhausted; their work hours never-ending. So…much…hard…
Businesses who were supposed to only close for a short time found themselves further and further into mandatory closures until the finances were strained and desperate. The governments of most nations stepped in to help, but for many it was too little or too late. My youngest kids worked at an amazing trampoline park that brought joy to our little community. The business was run by a single mom and another young family. We loved supporting them and watching as they expanded to offer parties and soccer training. But then came the virus. At first, we all thought it was true, temporary closing at worst. As the weeks and months passed, it became more and more apparent, this was not going to be the case at all. The little family-owner business collapsed, breaking the hearts of the community and employees alike. The victims of the virus began to expand far beyond those who physically contracted the illness. Restaurants struggled to offer take-out or delivery, but many customers were simply too afraid to even do this. And so, more hardworking business owners closed their doors for the last time.
Our family was tremendously blessed to be declared an essential business. We were able to keep all our employees and continue servicing our customers. I try not to think about the fact that if the virus and shut-downs intensify again in 2021 and people lose their jobs, then they can’t pay their bills. If a new strain is resistant to the vaccine, if enough people cannot get the vaccine, and on and on…the what if’s are overwhelming. But for now, our company is healthy, our people are paid, our family is ok financially.
And in our blessings, we have tried to bless others in the community by supporting local business. We can’t do everything, but we can do something. And we will.
The schools began to close down in March. I was teaching at a small homeschool co-op. Myself, along with every other teacher in the world, had to jump into a world of virtual learning. We learned to do zoom calls without our volume on so the classroom of kids didn’t hear the dog whining to take a walk. We learned to look professional on the top with our dress shirts and hair styled and comfy on the bottom with pjs and house shoes hiding away from the view of the camera. We made do and did the best we could. But there were consequences. They say child abuse and neglect intensified during this time; after all some parents had to still go to work and didn’t have childcare. Little ones were left alone. But what to do? It is not an easy question to answer. Those with learning difficulties had no one to help them stay focused and caught up. In our home, we faced the challenges of college students trying to school themselves in subjects such as engineering and law degrees. Exactly how does one learn to be an engineer or lawyer with virtual classes? My kids will be the first to tell you it is not an easy thing to do. The stress level of students shot up astronomically. This I know firsthand. The loneliness became intense as the activities and even study groups were shut down. There is simply no substitute for in-person learning. There just isn’t. Depression, anxiety, fear, and loneliness all increased for students as well as for society in general. Drugs and alcohol began to surge. Hope was fading as a quick fix looked less and less likely.
But in our home, there was reason to be thankful as well. We had time. We had time with the kids we never expected to have. We had time to learn new skills and practice old hobbies. We had time to rest. We had time to “be”. And that wish to have more family time…came through in spades!
There were more changes. There were the churches. Our church, along with the majority across the nation, closed down for in-person worship. I was teaching a 10th grade Sunday school at the time. We tried to continue once a week zoom calls until everyone was honestly dreading to hear the word “zoom”. It was all we could do, but it was not enough. Those girls needed more than we gave in a remote weekly call. But that was the way it was. Thankfully, our church had been streaming the services for some time, knowing there were always those who were sick or traveling or elderly. So the shift to church on the couch was not too difficult for our home. In fact, I began to fear it would be hard to actually get out of pajamas and not have a recliner and coffee to start the service. There were benefits! Still, I missed people. I genuinely missed people. I still do. We are much further down the road now, but life is still not back to normal and as long as the virus lingers, there is still that deep-down fear that we will go backwards and not forwards in the re-opening of the world. It could happen. If 2020 has taught us anything, it is that uncertainty is a reality of life. Even with the uncertainties, the early months were not bad for us personally. The college son was sent home to finish online. The marketing son learned to make his bedroom an office. Our little business industry had changed but was still healthy and growing. My elderly parents lived close and it was warm enough to make porch visits fun. We were blessed to live in the country and on acreage, so quarantine meant many days with long walks by our creek and evenings sitting in our hot tub talking about anything and everything. The very strangest part of that spring was Easter. Never in my adult life have I missed an Easter at church. It was just plain weird. Of course we watched the online service, and that was wonderful. But it was simply not the same. Gathering with other Believers and celebrating Christ’s resurrection is indescribable to those who have not experienced it, and it is something to be mourned when it is missed. Still, it was a good Easter. We had a wonderful lunch after watching the service, and then we took a walk to enjoy the signs of new life springing up everywhere as flowers and trees came alive again. My husband turned 50 to a very quiet world instead of the big party I had hoped for, but it was special and sweet. Life was slow, and slow wasn’t bad. This was the novelty phase of the virus.
Summer came and with it the hope of warm weather ending this cursed virus. By then, we had still not accepted the limitations being placed upon our nation, our world. The spring travel we had planned was re-booked for summer. The youth camp job my daughter volunteered at was of course going to be unusual but surely would happen. Of course it would. How could it not? So we made plans, albeit with fingers crossed. I think in the back of our positive-thinking minds remained the fear that the menace had not yet passed. But hope must remain. It simply must. Camp did indeed plan to open. Hope packed up, and we drove behind her ancient car all the way to the boonies of Florida. Most folks were acting normally, some mask requirements were in place, but we were here. Our visit included a trip to a local amusement park where masks were required, not recommended. Unless one has lived through this crazy “year of the mask”, I can’t even begin to explain the misery of wearing a mask all day in the muggy, Florida heat…oh, and did I mention my claustrophobia? Geez. And I paid significant money for the experience. That was irony at its best. I was also limping because I had broken my toe the day before in the ocean. And I was itchy because the mosquitoes had enjoyed a feast the night before at our little villa we were staying in. I forgot to mention the ancient, but much beloved, car my daughter drove and had inherited from her older siblings. She left the sunroof open one hot day, seems reasonable. Except Florida is known for pop-up thunderstorms. And that day there was a doozy of a storm that poured down into her carpet, her upholstery, her electronics system….So there. That turned out to be our only real 2020 vacation. Back then I was still surprised at so many things going wrong. Little did I know what was to come. 2020 says, “Buckle up and hold on!”
Camp was canceled a few short weeks into the season due to the virus, always the virus. But that wasn’t what brought my girl home early.
Father’s Day 2020 dawned bright and sunny. In-person church had finally started back for us, even though there were numbers to follow to get to your seat. Rows were skipped, masks were worn, and reservations were made. But I was more than willing to accommodate whatever steps were necessary to be with my people! We celebrated the Sabbath and the fathers of the church, being especially thankful for my husband. Leaving church, we headed for home because my parents and siblings were coming over for a picnic that evening. Almost home, my husband’s phone rang. The shock of the news that came next changed our world forever. My father in law was dead. That was all we knew as we turned the car around and headed to his home where extended family and emergency services were waiting. The relationship with Tim Sr. was complicated. I am heartbroken to say it was not good. He had made it very clear that he didn’t like us or our beliefs and wanted nothing to do with our family. In the beginning, I tried really hard to change his mind, wanting him to see the amazing son and grandchildren he was missing. But in the end, you can only do what you can do. I just found myself hoping that we had.
Arriving at the home, we discovered multiple police cars and much confusion. The heartbreak was about to get worse. Not only had this 63 year old man passed away much too early, but he had taken his own life. It was devastating. No matter who you are or what your situation might be, if suicide comes to your home, the “what if’s” are never far away. And this will forever be our memory of Father’s Day 2020.
However, I believe there is always a rainbow after the storm, a silver lining in the cloud. Tim’s brother and sister are a new and different part of our lives. We had not pursued a relationship with them during the past few years due to the strain with their father. But death is a reminder of the preciousness of family. It is time to make room for new people, and we will gladly do so. What the future holds for these siblings is difficult to know, but for our part, we will give it a chance. One of my favorite photos of this year is the three siblings together as adults (well almost for one) for the very first time. Who knows? Maybe this is not only an ending but a beginning.
This season brought painful changes and a fearful future in many aspects. I watched as dearly loved friends and family experienced life changes that brought incredible pain and loss. There is nothing worse for a “fixer” personality than to be unable to “fix”. Aging parents, divorce, depression, anxiety…these are the battle grounds where one is faced with a decision. Will I allow the difficulties to make me stronger, or will I allow it to break me? So many prayers and tears this year for those I hold dear, for myself. Will I grow, or will I break? Somedays I am not sure which way I’m leaning. But as long as I continue to fight to stand, then the falls aren’t defeat. That is what I must remember, and not only remember but practice.
The summer was beginning to feel like a broken record as one thing after another hit our household. After the funeral was over, we began to have a series of vehicle issues. I guess it really began with the sunroof rain party back in June. Still, that seemed like nothing after the month of August was over. We had workmen at our home for a project. It was a highlight event for sure as we were building a pool!! I was thrilled, for the most part.
The other, not as thrilled part, was the mess. It rained as if 2020 had to get it all in during that brief few weeks of time. Mud was everywhere. The dogs were in the mud, the cars were in the mud, we lived in the mud. Not once, but three times, big trucks and small got stuck in my yard and had to be pulled out. It was crazy! I honestly got to the point of telling people not to try to come down my driveway. Just park at the top. That’s what we had to do as well. My Mazda was not built for the mud. I knew I would never get out if it kept raining like it was doing. So our new parking area was at the top of the driveway in a grassy spot some 400 yards from our actual house. We took to keeping walking shoes in our cars because it was quite the hiking expedition to get home from…home. Which leads to my next run of 2020 luck. My vehicle is not new, but it is well cared for and my favorite car ever. My poor girl, Lily, was parked quietly in the grass at the top of the very long hill minding her own business, doing whatever it is cars do in their leisure. So a work truck decided he would make the trek out of my yard via backing up the drive…very quickly. He apparently decided against using the neighbor’s gravel drive some 50 feet away and spun into the grass. Poor unsuspecting Lily had no time to react before her perfect, pearly painted rear-end was destroyed by a hefty foe easily doubling her weight. She didn’t stand a chance. Vehicle situation number 1 was off to the racetrack. I felt like quite the saint as I comforted the distraught young truck driver with the truth that it could have been much worse as no one was in the vehicle ,or heaven help us, walking on the road in his path! Let this be a lesson, let’s move on with kindness. Now don’t get me wrong. I am no fool. I knew it would be a lot of aggravation and phone calls to sort out the mess. Plus I would be out of a car. The other driver’s insurance company offered a rental car which I took them up on promptly. Just a short few days later, vehicle tragedy would strike again. With my cute little rental in hand, and my Lily in the shop, I set off on my normal day of errands. The road I live on is gravel. The road leading to my road is extremely narrow, with the houses fairly close to the roadway itself. Truly, it is a one lane road at best. On this sunny Monday, I was driving slowly as usual watching for children and neighbor dogs and pigs (longer story). Suddenly over the hill I saw the hulking figure of a trash truck. I mean one of the really big ones. The driver had apparently decided he would back the entirety of the roadway picking up the trash of those on the road who used his company, me not among them. Anyway, I saw the guy hanging on the side start to bang on the truck, presumably to get the driver’s attention. At first, I assumed he would stop or move over at the very least, but he didn’t. I blew the horn to no avail. Perceiving the coming disaster, I pulled my little car over as far as possible off the road and continued blowing my horn. The poor kid hanging on the side realized about the same time I did that the driver was not going to stop. The hanger-on jumped off the truck just in time, but I had nowhere to go as he crashed into my car. After smashing all the way down the driver’s side of the vehicle, he decided to pull forward…dragging my car which had become attached to his truck…with him several feet. Finally the trauma was over. I sat stunned. What had just happened? Was I ok? It didn’t seem logical that I would be. I had been hit by a trash truck…and survived.
Thankfully the guy who had jumped off the truck told the police the truth about the incident, while the driver not so much. The police resolved the situation and gave the trash truck driver a ticket citing him for being at fault. I ended up waiting several hours for the rental car company to come get this poor car and bring another. I had thought there was paperwork with the former insurance situation, but this became a nightmare. Even though the other driver was clearly at fault, there were a lot of players in the game and lots of phone calls, emails, and hoops to jump through. But I got it done. And again, I could see some good springing up from the bad. Maybe it’s in my nature to find the happy, the glass half-full variety of human. Whatever it is, I like it. It helps me keep my smile.
Sitting on the road that day, I met several neighbors I had never before known. I learned to be thankful for the honesty of one man who could have sided with his fellow employee but chose truth. I thought of how blessed I am to live in a nation where I can count on the police to show up within minutes of an accident and know I am safe. It’s all true. But that didn’t stop the irritation and aggravation of having yet another mountain of paperwork to add to my stack.
I wish I could say our car troubles ended that day, but it would be a lie. One of my kids was moving a vehicle in the driveway and drove off the newly formed concrete ledge guarding my yard…the vehicle lost the battle with the concrete. More body work followed. Then the son whose car had been damaged (not by him ironically) borrowed another sibling’s car to take back to school. Thinking an oil change would be good, I dropped it at Wal Mart for a quick check-up and tune up. Bad idea. Long story short, major work followed what should have been a simple procedure, not entirely anyone’s fault but partly age of vehicle. Still, I mean really?
Car struggles consumed the end of the summer, but at least for now things were looking up. Surely fall would bring the excitement of long awaited travel plans and school would be back to normal. At least that was the plan. It was a good plan.
Fall arrived at last. The pool was done, which was fun. We tried to have a couple of get togethers…but COVID…At least we managed a few small friend and family events. Then it got a little chilly for swimming. But wait! We went in for the extra financial investment of a heater for the pool. This was our heat pump’s moment to shine. Well, as most of the year goes, so goes this expectation as well. The pool heater stopped heating, started making a horrendous screeching noise, and was totally discounted by the pool company as “you must be imagining it, it’s normal…” Sigh. At this point, you just start to expect the negatives. My happy was suffering symptoms of defeat.
And as for travel, more trips were canceled. More plans laid aside, victim of the worldwide pandemic. At this point, we kind of stopped trying to travel outside the US or much of anywhere. We did manage a short trip to nearby Tennessee to visit Dollywood and Parrot Mountain. I think this trip was all the sweeter because we had been unable to do anything or go anywhere for so long. It was a lesson in the fact that you sometimes don’t know what you have until it’s gone. We missed travel. A weekend away was wonderful, a time to forget about viruses and elections and stress.
Speaking of elections, that became a huge part of our daily lives and discussions. But the reality was waiting in the shadows. America could not escape the debacle that had become our political system.
The Presidential election was a hotbed of hatred and contention and childishness that seemed to know no bounds of propriety or dignity. It has been painful to watch our nation disintegrate into a people who are so consumed with our differences that we absolutely can’t see our similarities. We are a nation divided. It is both heartbreaking and dangerous. There came a point when I simply stopped watching the news and stopped reading the political posts. It is stressful and fear-inducing. The world has been reminded just how powerful the media is during these times. I have begun to wonder if we have indeed lost the ability to think for ourselves. We simply absorb, and the negative is what seems to sink in the deepest. The riots, the attacks, the violence, the hatred…it all gives the valid impression that we are spiraling out of control. And with the virus beginning to make a dramatic comeback, with the cold weather of winter, the implications of isolation become even more profound. Without the encouragement of friends, the wisdom and calm gained from church and social gatherings, the normalcy of the workplace, we are alone. And alone breeds fear, fear the media is only too glad to freely feed. We are caught up in a desperate circle of depression and even the most positive of us begin to wonder if “this” will ever end. This diversion from normalcy that was to last a couple of weeks, this different world we have been pushed into, some kicking and screaming and others willingly. Still, no one expected it to last so long.
The elections lasted seemingly forever as run-offs for the senate seats in Georgia brought even more media storm during Christmas. Seriously, is nothing sacred anymore? We couldn’t even enjoy the peace of the holy season without being bombarded with ads for or against the candidates.
Finally, it was over. Even those of us in the conservative camp sigh with relief that it is over, even if it did not go our way. Still, I must say I try to hide my fear and trembling over an un-balanced country with complete liberal control. Absolute power corrupts absolutely is an honest statement with history to back up its validity. My young adults will probably laugh at that statement, but it is true. I believe balance is healthy, and the absence of such will cause a level of destruction. A destruction of the values and freedoms I, and many others, hold dear.
Still, if this season has taught me anything, it is that God is in control even when I don’t “feel” it. The virus, the protests and violence, the elections, the isolation, the uncertainty, these are all reasons to say 2020 was a difficult year. But if I believe the truth of my life verse, “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11, if I believe this then I have to say…whatever Lord. Whatever You have for me, You have a plan. Whatever You have for my family has a good purpose and is not intended for harm. Whatever You have for my country is not to harm us. And as we move into 2021, I say to You, “Whatever”. I will take the rain, and I will watch for the rainbows. I will take the storms, and I will search for the silver linings. Open hands and trusting heart, welcome 2021.